just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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