I murdered the dance floor call the cops
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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