Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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