Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize