I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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