I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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