maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize