I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
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and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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