He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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