he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize