I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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