I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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