I can text with my tongue
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize