Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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