then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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