hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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