at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just tell him i said nine months
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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