Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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