SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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