Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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