you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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