I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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