you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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