I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize