Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize