I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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