i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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