Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize