That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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