My friends, they love my intelligence
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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