This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize