Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize