i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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