just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
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i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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