hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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