Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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