Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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