i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize