you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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