Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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