I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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