The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize