im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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