I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My life is pants optional.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize