I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize