and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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