Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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