hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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