I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
pray to the hookup gods
my liver is dry heaving
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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