by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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